Purple Rain

Purple Rain By DG Hear 

Note from Jake Rivers: This is my seventh semi-annual "invitational."
The initial one was based on the Statler Brother's song, "This Bed of
Rose's." The most recent invitational included songs written or
performed by Willie Nelson. The current effort consists of stories
based on song titles that have a weather term in them, such as "Stormy
Weather, "Foggy Mountain Top," "Dusty Skies", "Heat Wave", "Summertime
Blues," and "Ballad of Thunder Road." Regards, Jake  

I chose 'Purple Rain', by Prince for the invitational. 

It's true that rain can take many forms (drizzle, downpour, even acid
rain), but it has never been purple. Maybe this impossible phenomenon
relates to the lyrics in this song, where a man acknowledges the
mistakes he made in his marriage and his life. 

I hope you enjoy my story and the others in the invitational.  A big
thank you to my editor, Mistress Lynn, for making it a much better
read. DG Hear 

Chapter 1 

Marci was a bridesmaid at my sister Jane's wedding. Soon after she
graduated from college, Jane met Jim. As one of the groomsmen, I found
myself paired up with Marci, and we hit it off right from the start.
She was a year older than me, but at nineteen, I didn't think it was a
big thing. 

Though she wasn't what you call beautiful or sexy, Marcy was nice
looking.  Her parents kept her on a pretty tight rope since she still
lived at home.  She was the oldest in the family.  Her three siblings
were all boys.  Because she spent a lot of her time helping with the
household chores, she never dated in high school, only going out in
groups of friends to dances and sports events.  While attending the
local college, she met my sister. 

I didn't realize it the first couple of dates, but she told her parents
she was going over my sister's house.  I thought it odd meeting her
there, but when I finally asked her about it, she told me she didn't
want the hassle with her parents about going out with me. 

On the third date I picked her up at her house.  She had a talk with her
parents about being old enough to make her own choices.  We went to the
movies and did some heavy petting on the way home. 

It wasn't till two dates later that we had sex.  It all happened on a
Saturday afternoon.  We went to the movies again, and I spilled nacho
cheese on my pants.  Since we were going out to eat after the movie, we
stopped by my house so I could change clothes. 

My parents were gone for the day, so we had the house to ourselves. We
started necking, and things began to get very hot. Taking her by the
hand, we walked into my room.  She was very nervous but willing.  Then
I saw her breasts; they were beautiful. 

After unfastening her bra, I began to rub and squeeze them. We were
sitting on the bed at the time, and she had her hands wrapped around my
head pulling it against her.  I was sucking on them like a newborn
baby.  Her nipples became very hard, so I could tell she was getting as
turned on as I was. I slid my hand down over her shorts onto her mound. 

Soon I unbuttoned her shorts so I could slide my hand inside her
panties.  She was already wet when I started fingering her.  Damn, she
was hot. With her panties and my own shorts off, I placed my cock at
the entrance of her pussy.  It was so pink and glistening with her
juices. 

"Barry, I'm not on any kind of birth control.  Do you have a condom?" 

"No, but I promise to pull out.  Please, I want you so bad." 

I didn't wait for an answer as I started to push into her pussy.  She
screamed out, and that's when I realized I had taken her virginity.
"Just stop for a second Barry. Give me a chance to adjust to this.  I've
never done it before." 

I held back for a few seconds and then started pushing in slowly.  God,
she felt so good.  I wanted to pump hard and fast but I didn't want to
hurt her in any way so I kept going in and out very slowly. 

"Marci, it's my first time too.  I didn't realize how good it would be."

Pumping faster, I lifted her legs up to my shoulders.  I had never felt
anything so damn good.  I wanted it to last forever but knew it would
just be for a few short minutes.  But it sure beat the hell out of
masturbating. 

I heard Marci scream out as her pussy squeezed my cock.  Feeling her
orgasm, I knew I was going to come also.  When I felt the first cum
shoot out of my cock, I remembered I was suppose to pull out. I
finished coming on Marci's mound and tummy. 

"Did you pull out in time?" she asked. 

"Yes, it was close but I'm sure I did."  I lied; I knew the first shot
went inside her.  "Marci, it felt so good.  Could you go on the pill?" 

"I don't want my parents to know I'm making love.  Can you use a condom
from now on?" 

"Marci! You're almost twenty-one; you should be able to do what you
want." 

"Please Barry, not yet. I love my parents and don‘t want them thinking
I‘m having sex.  I know it's stupid to most people, but that's the way
I feel.  I want to finish school and be out on my own before taking the
pill." 

"Okay, anything to be with you.  I'll buy a few dozen packages of
condoms just to be with you.  I've never felt anything so good." 

For the next couple of months, we used condoms every time. 

**** 

My dad was a truck driver.  He used to go all over the United States,
but now he just drove locally so he could be home most evenings.  When
I graduated from high school, he got me a job at the same company.  I
was mostly a loader but I also learned to drive and back-up the trucks
to the dock. 

I studied for a CDL license so when I was old enough I could take the
test and drive the big rigs.  Though I made pretty good money on the
docks, I could do better driving the rigs. 

Things were going pretty good for me till one day I got that ‘Oh Shit'
call from Marci. 

"Barry, I just went to the doctor and she told me I'm pregnant.  What
are we going to do?" She was crying as she spoke. 

It was like someone hit me over the head with a mallet.  Marci was going
to have a baby.  To the best of my knowledge it was mine.  I had taken
her virginity just two months earlier.  We used condoms all but the
first time.  I was so confused right then.  I wouldn't be twenty for a
couple of months. I was just too damn young to get married and raise
kids. 

I wanted time to enjoy my life and fuck a lot of women. What was I going
to do? Later I got a call from my sister Jane. 

"Barry, I just talked to Marci. What's going on?" 

"She's pregnant." 

"I know she's pregnant.  Are you going to ask her to marry you?  You
know she has always loved you and you're the only guy she's ever been
with." 

"My god, does she tell you everything?" 

"Take it easy, Barry.  I told you we're best friends.  There aren't a
lot of people she can talk to right now about her situation.  She knows
she has to tell her parents soon, and that's why I was wondering what
you were thinking.  Mom and dad aren't going to be the happiest couple
either." 

She was silent for a few seconds before speaking again.  "Do you love
her Barry?" 

"I think so.  It's just that I never thought I'd be getting married and
having a kid so soon in my life.  I guess I had planned on playing the
field for a while." 

"You know it's not going to be easy for Marci either.  I'm sure she
wasn't planning to have a kid so soon either.  I just hope you make the
right decision, for both you and Marci.  She's a great catch." 

"I know Sis, but it would sure change my life." 

I called Marci back and she cried when I mentioned we would get married.
 She really was a wonderful person; I was just not mature enough at the
time. 

Her parents were not really happy with me, but were at least glad I took
the responsibility for the pregnancy.  I don't think I was ever on
their good side.  They treated me nice but there was never any
closeness between us.  Marci always said they would get to love me as
much as she did in time. 

We were married the following month in a small church wedding, and had a
reception in the community hall.  It was nice though only our families
attended. We didn't have time for a honeymoon but spent a nice night in
the motel.  I had to be back to work on Monday and Marci had classes. 

Working in the trucking yard, I made enough to support us but not much
more.  Marci's parents helped up by paying for the rest of her
education.  She was in her last semester and would graduate with a
degree in social work. 

We lived in an apartment for a few months.  It was good enough for us
but we knew it wasn't big enough for a family.  We were happy and made
love all the time we were together.  I guess it was our young hormones
kicking in. 

I came home from work one evening and found Marci sitting at the table
drinking a glass of tea.  She went to the fridge and opened a beer for
me.  I wasn't old enough but I worked hard and promised Marci I
wouldn't drink more than two a night. 

"Sit down Barry. I have something to tell you." 

"Are you all right?  Is the baby okay?  What is it Marci?" I was
concerned, because I knew she had a doctor's appointment that morning. 

"I'm pregnant..." 

"Like I can't see that," I said as I smiled at her. 

"We are having twins." 

"What!  Are you sure?"  I wanted to put on a happy face for Marci's sake
but I was scared shitless. 

"Yes, the doctor confirmed two heartbeats today.  It's a bit scary; I
wasn't sure how I would do with one baby and now we're having two." 

"Everything will be all right." 

We went over and told her folks.  Her dad gave me a dirty look, but her
mom said she would do what she could to help us out.  We then went to
my parent's house. Dad was a pretty straight shooter, and I felt better
talking to him. 

"Well son. Everything will work out; it always does.  Your mother and I
are here for you and will help whenever you need it." 

Mom went over and hugged Marci.  She treated her like she was her own
daughter.  "Marci, I'll help you all I can.  I don't work so if you
need me to help watch the babies, just let me know." 

About a month before the babies were born, Marci's parents came to the
apartment to see us.  They said they found a nice home not far from
where we lived.  Since Marci was now twenty-one, they would co-sign for
us and even give us enough for a small down payment. 

To me it was like accepting charity from her parents, but Marci was
happy.  We would need a bigger place after the kids were born.  The
house payment wasn't much more than our rent, but we knew there would
be extra costs. 

I thanked Mr. and Mrs. Billings and told them I would do my best to pay
them back after I got a better job. He told me not to worry about it,
because there wasn't anything he wouldn't do for his little girl.
Somehow, I figured that was a dig thrown at me. 

We got the home in near move-in condition before Marci delivered the
kids.  Our parents and my sister and Marci's brothers all chipped in
and helped get it ready. 

It might not have been much, but Marci and I were proud of our new home.
 We had to be careful, but we wanted to christen our house by making
love in each room. 

We only made it through three rooms before I got a call at work saying
Marci was on her way to the hospital.  My mom took her, and I made it
there as soon as I could. I was a nervous wreck. 

Our parents and my sister were all there waiting.  The doctor said it
would be a while.  Six hours later our twin boys arrived.  First was
Larry, followed twenty minutes later by his brother Jerry. 

Everyone said how cute they were. To be honest, I didn't think babies
were very cute at birth.  Granted it was a miracle, but pretty or
handsome they weren't.  They looked a little better after the nurses
cleaned them up. Both had a reddish color, bald, and no teeth.  I think
their eyes were hazel but it was hard to tell. 

I sat in a big chair and realized I had no idea what was going to happen
next in my life.  You think you're prepared but you're not. 

I was now the father of twin boys.  After kissing Marci and taking
another look at my sons, I headed home.  I didn't sleep a wink the
whole night.  Good thing I took the next day off work so that I could
bring Marci and the boys home from the hospital. 

My life and dreams had changed forever.  I tried to be a good husband
and father, but I sure didn't plan a life with children so early.  And
I'm sure Marci felt the same way. 

I worked hard to be a good dad, helping with the babies as best I could.
 It was eat, shit and cry for them. Marci was such a good mother.
Every time she picked up one of the boys, she would smile.  Me, I still
had trouble telling them apart. 

It was better as they got a few months older.  At least I could play
with them a little.  I worked a lot of overtime to help with the
expenses, so it was a life of work and sleep.  That isn't part of
adults tell kids while they are growing up though. 

I no longer went out with my friends.  I was trying to do the right
thing, I really was.  When I turned twenty-one, I got my CDL license.
With only long haul over-the-road positions open, taking one would mean
that I would be gone for weeks at a time.  Marci didn't like the idea
of me being gone for such long periods of time, so I didn't take it. 

Instead, I found a job delivering food products, usually to homes.  I
had a route where I would stop every two weeks and fill orders.
Sometimes my customers would order stuff ahead of time and I would have
it for them on my next delivery. 

I had a very good route with mostly middle to high income customers.
Though I was making good money, I was putting in long hours. I started
first thing in the morning and some days didn't get home till after
dark. 

Marci and I argued about me never being there, but I told her I was
doing it for our family.  After rearranging my schedule so I only spent
three evenings a week working late, Marci was much happier. 

When the kids were about six months old she got a job as administrative
assistant at the grade school.  My mom offered to baby-sit.  We tried
to pay her a little but she refused and told us she could never charge
us for watching her grandkids. 

With both of us working late our love life sure took a back seat.  We
were lucky if we did it twice a week.  When we did make love I could
tell Marci was tired and just doing it for my benefit.  Damn!  That was
never the way I dreamt it would be. 

Then it happened.  I stopped at Mrs. Johnson's house with her order.
She was in a two piece swimsuit and looked great for a woman in her
forties. 

"Would you like a glass of lemonade, Barry?  It's so hot out I thought
I'd take a dip in the pool." 

I couldn't help staring at her.  I put her order on the counter and
accepted the drink, just so I could be there a little longer. 

"Come on out to the patio and we can drink our lemonade there." 

I followed her out to the patio by the pool and watched her shake her
bootie all the way out. What I wouldn't give to get a piece of her, I
thought the entire time. 

I sat in a chair and she laid on her chaise lounge.  We talked a bit and
then she asked me if I would rub some suntan oil on her back.  I knew I
shouldn't have even been there but I couldn't resist.  I slowly rubbed
it into the small of her back. 

"Rub a little harder Barry, I'm not going to break," she said as she
unclasped her top. 

My god, I could see her tit from the side as I rubbed her skin.  I
couldn't help but slip my fingers over the sides of her breasts. 

"Oh, that feels so good.  Will you do my legs too?" 

I started with her ankles and worked my way up.  When I got to her
thighs she spread her legs, offering a view that gave me a hard-on.
When I got to the top of her thighs, she spread them even more. I
pushed my hands all the way up her thighs and acted like it was an
accident when I touched the outside of her behind area.  She gave out a
slight moan that kind of scared me. 

She turned over and asked me to do her front.  When her bra top fell
away, I was staring at her breasts. My mind was deep in lust as I
shaped my palms around the curve of her breasts. 

"That feels wonderful, Barry." 

My hands slid down her belly. 

"Lower," she murmured. "Keep going. Take them off." Following her
command, the first thing I saw was her shaved pussy except for a slight
dark muff of hair down the center.  I put my hand on her wet pussy,
finger fucking her when she opened wider. 

This was crazy.  I was finger fucking one of my customers, and I wanted
to fuck her but I was on a limited time schedule.  She reached up and
rubbed my hard-on through my shorts then undoing them so they fell to
the ground.  After pulling my cock out of my underwear, she started
sucking me. 

It didn't take long before I knew I was going to explode.  She pulled my
cock out of her mouth and I came all over her breasts.  I had never
felt anything like it. 

"I know you have to go, but maybe next time we can forget the lemonade
and you can fuck me." 

"There is nothing I would like more," I said to the naked woman. 

She grabbed a towel and wiped my spunk off her body and slipped on a
light robe.  "I still have to pay you for my goodies." 

I was dressed and ready to leave.  She gave me a check and an order for
next time but told me to make sure I left a little time for some fun.
I left her house wondering what I had done.  I felt great but now I
also felt some guilt. 

I tried to tell myself that all guys did it and it was just a one-time
thing.  When I got home that evening, Marci was in a bitchy mood—one of
those times when she yelled at me for everything.  Then I didn't feel
so bad about what happened earlier that day. 

In the days that followed, I felt pretty good.  The older women on my
route flirted with me quite a lot, and I always complimented them and
returned their smiles. 

When the day came for me to return to the Johnson's house, I began to
wonder if she still wanted to play around.  My answer came when she
answered my knock only in her robe left wide open. 

"I've been waiting for you.  I hope you left a little time in your
schedule." 

I walked in and set her order on the table. She began undoing my belt as
soon as I turned around.  It wasn't thirty seconds before I was
receiving a blow job.  Within five minutes from entering her door, she
had me stripped, sitting on the couch and was riding me. 

I watched her boobs bounce as she rode my cock like a human dildo.
Damn! She felt so good.  I couldn't believe that this older married
woman would turn me on so much.  I grabbed her hips and thrust deep as
I came.  I shot my spunk in her and watched as my slippery cum and her
juices ran down my shaft. 

When we were done, she climbed off me, put a towel between her legs, and
went to the bathroom. 

"I'll be right back with a damp washcloth for you," she said as she
smiled at me. 

When she came back out, I used the pale yellow cloth to clean myself up.

"Barry, just so you know; this is only sex.  My husband is always busy
and I have needs. I don't want this to turn into an affair, so it will
only happen a few times.  I'm just letting you know up front." 

"Thank you, Mrs. Johnson. I'm glad we're on the same page here.  I'd
hate to mess up my marriage also.  You are one sexy woman and I loved
being with you." 

We ended up having sex twice after that.  We joked when I made my
deliveries after that, but nothing else.  Her husband was even there a
couple of times when I delivered her order, her way of telling me that
our sexual romps were over. 

After that, I began to have sex with different customers.  I never
initiated the sexual activity, and set rules for myself.  The woman had
to be married.  Even though some of the young single daughters looked
great, I kept my hands off.  What if we would have fallen for each
other?  I wasn't out to ruin my marriage, just have sex. As I
mentioned, I was really immature at the time. 

Most of the women seemed to have a rule of no more than three times.  I
figured I wasn't the only young guy they were bonking.  It was
surprising how sexual these older women were.  The age range was
probably from late thirties through mid fifties. 

I know this seems odd now but I actually thought that this extramarital
sex was helping my marriage.  I didn't push Marci as often and the
little bit of guilt I felt made me help her out more. Life was pretty
good.  My sales were up and my sex life was great.  I guess I was
having my cake and eating it too.  Then one day it all crumbled. 

I got home early and took a shower.  Marci yelled to me that I just
received a package I had to sign for it.  I told her to just go ahead
and do it herself. 

After getting out of the shower, I got dressed and walked into the
living room. Marci was on the couch looking at the contents of the
package. 

They were half a dozen nude pictures of me and another customer, Mrs.
Handley.  More showed me with several other women.  I had no idea what
had just happened. 

Marci was crying and yelling obscenities at me, I was trying to figure
out what had happened and where the pictures came from.  Marci kept
screaming and I couldn't think.  I grabbed the letter that came with
the pictures and walked back into the bathroom where it was less noisy
and read the letter. 

It was a letter from a lawyer.  He was representing Mr. Robert Handley
in a divorce action. The man was also suing the company I worked for
because of my actions, which was having sex with Mrs. Handley as well
as other married customers. The law firm said they would not sue me
directly if I agreed to be a witness stating that all this was true.
What could I say?  They had the proof in the pictures and I didn't want
us to lose everything we had. 

That left me up a creek without the paddle.  When I stepped out of the
bathroom, Marci started in on me again.  She grabbed the letter and
read it. 

"You fucking no account dirty bastard.  Get the hell out of my house.  I
never want to see you again!"  She kept yelling obscenities all the way
out to the car. 

I was lost; I had no idea where to go.  Thinking my parents might put me
up for the night, I drove over there. When I got there, they began to
yell at me.  Marci had called and said my boss wanted to see me first
thing in the morning.  The lawyers said in their letter that they would
be seeing me at our company office. All I knew now was I was in deep
shit. 

"I screwed up big time, I know that.  It's too late, I can't take it
back.  I need a place to stay for a couple of days till I can figure
out what's going to happen.  Mom, I'm sorry, I truly am.  I have
nowhere else to go." 

"Barry, if what Marci said you did is true, it's unthinkable.  You have
the nicest wife and the cutest babies a man could have, and you threw
it all away for what?" 

"I know Mom, but I can't undo what is already done.  The meeting with my
boss tomorrow is probably to fire me.  All I'm asking is to stay here a
couple of nights till I find a place." 

Mom loved Marci and the boys, and this really shook her up.  "Barry, you
can stay in the basement bedroom till you find a place.  Just so you
know, I'm on Marci's side.  I love you with all my heart; you are my
only son."  Mom had tears in her eyes as I headed downstairs. 

The next day I went in to see Mr. Thompson, the regional manager.  Two
lawyers representing Mr. Henderson in the law suit against the company
were there as well. 

They laid out all their findings.  It seems that Mr. Henderson had hired
a private detective to watch his wife.  Once he caught us together, he
then followed me for a couple of weeks.  If I had only had sex with
her, the case wouldn't have been as strong. 

Since he had sexual pictures of me with three different women, he
concluded that I was the one approaching them for sexual acts. That was
untrue because the women always made the first advances, but I had no
way of proving it.  There was no way they would back up my story
either. 

Mr. Thompson looked at me with a stare that could kill.  "Is this true?
Did you have sexual relations with these customers?" 

I wanted to explain but I had no proof of anything.  The lawyers had the
pictures, and I remembered them saying they wouldn't prosecute me if I
agreed.  I guess they knew I didn't have anything and would be worth
more to them as a witness. 

"Yes, Mr. Thompson I did." 

He told the lawyers that he would get back to them after consulting the
legal department.  He then suspended me till further notice. 

To make a long story short, Mr. Henderson got a hefty settlement from
the company.  I lost my job, but if I agreed to give them the names of
the other clients I had relations with, they wouldn't file a suit
against me either.  They knew I didn't have anything and were
interested in keeping it all under wraps.  They wanted the names of the
other women in case it came up again. 

In our state, you can collect unemployment for half the duration if
fired.  I was to get a maximum of thirteen weeks, though it was about
half of what I was making on the job.  I had to give Marci most of it
for child support and alimony, leaving me barely enough to survive. 

After a couple of days I moved out of my parents' house.  I found a
one-room apartment that an elderly couple had for rent. Their son had
moved out and they had the extra room.  It wasn't much but I didn't
need anything more than a place to sleep.  They offered to lower my
rent if I helped out around the house.  I mowed their lawn and painted
some of their rooms. 

They were nice to me but treated me like a kid.  They wanted me to
follow all kinds of rules: no loud noise, no friends after dark, always
lock the front door, and call if I wasn't going to be home.  I must
admit the woman could cook, so at least I saved money on food. 

My sister Jane was all over my case on what I did to Marci.  She told me
I was a stupid asshole and she never wanted to talk to me again.  I
tried to tell her I was truly sorry but she wouldn't listen. 

In the weeks that followed, I kept looking for work.  When I tried for
any kind of sales or drivers job, I had to put down previous employment
and the reason why they fired me.  No one was about to hire a guy like
me. 

Mom still babysat for Marci, and I would stop by a couple times a week
to see the boys.  I think they were the only ones that cared for me
anymore.  I really did ruin my life big time. 

When Marci filed for divorce, there was no reason fighting.  She got the
house and furniture.  I got child support and alimony based on my wages
when I was working. 

When I stopped by with the police to pick up the remainder of my
belongings, I told Marci how truly sorry I was. She cried as I left. 

Chapter 2 

"I never meant to cause you any sorrow I never meant to cause you any
pain I only wanted to see you laughing I only wanted to see you
laughing in the purple rain Purple Rain, Purple Rain" 

You hear about people committing suicide at a young age.  Now I
understood why.  I couldn't go much lower right than I was then.  It is
true what they say, ‘You don't know what you have till you lose it.'
That's exactly the way I felt. 

God, why did I take everything for granted.  If it wasn't for my boys I
would drive off the nearest cliff.  When I began drinking, the Wilson's
asked me to move out.  I could hardly blame them.  Who wanted a drunk
in their house? 

I found a room down in the slum area because that was all I could
afford.  I was already behind on child support.  I was waiting for them
to come get me and throw me in jail. 

My room was in the back of the bar.  Joe gave me free rent as long as I
kept the place clean and I did a few errands for him.  He also gave me
twenty bucks a day under the table, which allowed me to eat. 

I have to say something here about Marci.  She always took the boys over
to mom's house so I could see them.  She mentioned to mom that I was
their dad and hoped that someday I would get my act together.  She
never really downgraded me and had stopped calling me names.  For some
unknown reason, she talked nice about me to the boys, even though they
were still tots. 

I often wondered if there might be a chance that we could ever get back
together.  That thought was probably one of the few things to help me
through it all. 

One day I received a knock at the back door.  I figured it was the
police coming to get me for not paying child support, but it was my
dad. 

"Barry, may I come in?  I have something to talk to you about." 

As I have mentioned, dad is a straight shooter.  He doesn't mince much
with words but has always told me the truth. 

"Dad, I really screwed up and I don't know what to do.  I've tried
looking for work but no one wants to hire a guy like me."  By then I
was half crying. 

"Barry, that's why I'm here.  I talked to Roy Skelton at the truck depot
and he is willing to offer you a position." 

"God, Dad, I'll take it!  I'll do whatever he needs." 

"Easy Barry, let me tell you about it.  It's an over-the-road long haul
driver.  The pay is great but you won't be home very often." 

"Dad, I don't have a home now.  I just want to make things right with
Marci and support my boys." 

"You will be driving all over the United States.  You might get home a
few days a month at best.  I just want you to know that it is a really
lonely job.  I started my driving career the same way and eventually
was able to bid on the shorter runs." 

"Why is Mr. Skelton doing this?" 

"He remembered when you worked on the docks and the good job you did.
Besides, I'm his oldest driver and I told him I would vouch for you.
Just keep your nose clean and it should all work out fine." 

Hugging my dad, it felt good to know he never gave up on me. 

"Barry, I mean it when I say it's a lonely job.  You'll make friends on
the road and your best friends will be other truck drivers in the same
type job.  Roy said he will see you tomorrow." 

Mr. Skelton explained the job to me the next day.  There was a
combination day and mileage rate, and I would be using his cab so he
would get fifteen percent of my pay.  If I ever purchased my own rig, I
would get the additional money.  Right then I couldn't afford a pot to
piss in. 

After leaving the depot, I went to let my mom and dad know I got the
job. Jerry and Larry greeted me at the door.  When I saw the smile on
their faces, I knew I was doing this for them, even though I would
hardly ever see them. 

Mom hugged me and told me that since I would only be around a few days a
month that I could have the room in the basement.  That way whenever I
was home I could see the boys.  I hugged her and thanked her.  She knew
I was trying to put my life back together. 

I told Joe at the bar about my job and thanked him for helping me out
when I needed it most.  It was then he told me he was friends with my
dad.  Again, I had to thank my dad for standing by me.  He didn't just
do it for me but made me learn to help myself. 

I started working the following week.  The first couple of weeks were
great.  I had a new job and saw a lot of the country.  After that it
was the way my dad had mentioned.  I was lonely being by myself for
such long periods of time.  I began making friends with some of the
other truckers.  Every waitress looked good to me, and some I became
good friends with. 

The highlight of my month was the few days I spent at home.  Marci
always made sure the boys were at mom's to see me even if it was a
weekend.  I loved spending time with the little guys. 

I was able to quickly catch up on my child support and alimony.  I had
never heard a word from Marci when I was behind.  Mom told me she just
made do as best as she could.  She hadn't lost faith in me and knew I
was trying. 

The months went by so quickly.  Over a year had gone by since I started
my new job.  It was hard when I couldn't be there for my sons' birthday
and the holidays because I was always on the road.  I had only seen
Marci a couple of times when she came to pick up the boys.  She was so
beautiful and I missed her so much.  We never said much to each other,
but every time I saw her I realized how stupid I was. 

Before I knew it another year had past. One day when I was home my mom
told me Marci wanted to see me.  I was almost elated, but mom wasn't
smiling.  I headed over to see Marci. 

When I knocked on the door, a tall older man answered. 

"Is Marci here?" I asked. 

"You must be Barry. Please come in.  I'm Tom Brady." 

I was confused.  Marci came up to me and Tom told her he would be in the
other room if she needed him. 

"Who is he?" I asked. "And what is he doing here?" 

"I'm getting married to Tom." 

"He's old enough to be your father!  Why are you doing this?" 

"I know Tom is older than me.  Sixteen years to be exact.  You have to
understand that the boys and I need more stability in our life.  Tom is
a wonderful man and loves the boys." 

"He's not taking my sons from me!" 

"Barry, he has no intention of replacing you.  You are and will always
be their father.  They need a male role model in their life on a
regular basis.  They're starting school and life for them will be
changing quite a bit." 

"What about you?  Are you in love with him?" 

"He has helped me out a lot in the last two years.  Yes, I guess in a
sense I love him.  He's kind, considerate, and honest, and I enjoy his
company." 

"So, why am I here?" 

"I wanted to tell you myself.  I didn't want you to hear it from someone
else.  I want you to know he isn't replacing you as the boys' father.
He understands that.  Whenever you are home and want to see the boys,
I'll make sure you do.  And you won‘t have to pay alimony anymore." 

There were tears in my eyes as I turned around to leave.  My heart had
fallen into my stomach.  Marci could see it too, and had tears in her
eyes as well. 

"Marci, I screwed up big time.  I've lost the only woman that I have
ever loved.  I wish you and Tom the best."  I turned around and left
her house.  I went back to my mom's to see my sons. 

I discovered from my sister that Tom was a teacher at the school.  His
daughter was nineteen and going away to college. His son was twenty-one
and out on his own. 

Tom's wife died of cancer four years before.  Though he had taken it
pretty hard, he did his best to raise his kids on his own.  Jane also
mentioned that he was teacher of the year three years ago.  The whole
community liked him. 

Jane explained to me that after our divorce Marci was brokenhearted.
She loved me but could never totally forgive me.  Tom and Marci became
friends and then began dating.  Tom's kids were happy for their dad
because he had been so sad after the loss of his wife.  When he met
Marci, he seemed happy again. They wondered about the age difference,
but trusted their father.  Knowing he wouldn't be alone anymore, they
were happy for him. 

Marci was selling her house to get one a little bigger so the boys could
each have their own room.  Tom was going to rent his place out.  When
he died the house would go to his son and daughter. All were happy with
the agreement.  My mom and dad thought Tom was a nice guy.  The boys
liked him and called him Tom.  I was the only one they called Dad. 

In the months following the wedding I only went home for two days before
going back on the road.  It was hard on me knowing Marci was married to
another man, but what should I have expected. 

A couple more years went by. One day the boys told me I looked fatter.
I laughed but they were right.  Sitting on your ass fourteen hours a
day will do that to you.  So I decided to do something about it. 

I joined a national health club.  Each night or whenever I got the
chance I would work out at the club.  Not the muscles type of workout
but more of the exercise type.  I began walking instead of sitting
around.  The next time the boys saw me they told me I looked different. 

I continued to work out regularly.  It made me feel good plus I met
quite a few women there.  I dated some when I was near certain towns,
but I always made sure they weren't married.  Singles and divorced
women were okay with me.  I didn't want to jeopardize my job again. 

I went to a couple of prostitutes but it just didn't seem right paying
for something that other women were giving away.  Besides, I wanted the
companionship as much as the sex. 

Having dinner and seeing a movie with a woman was a lot nicer than a
quick piece of ass.  There were a few I could have probably gotten
serious about if it wasn't for my job.  Not many women wanted a
marriage when they would only see their spouse a couple of times a
month. 

Rose was one such woman.  She was a waitress in one of the towns I often
went through.  I made it a point to stop where she worked every time I
was near there.  She was the one who suggested I join the national
health club if I was really interested in keeping fit. 

She was divorced and was raising a daughter on her own.  Her ex husband
was a trucker, and when she found out he had cheated on her, they got
in a big argument. For the sake of her daughter she took him back.
When she found he had cheated a second time she threw his ass out.  He
didn't send support for their daughter, and she had no idea where he
was. 

After telling me a bit about herself, she asked me about my divorce.
When I didn't say anything she guessed I was at fault.  I ended up
telling her the truth.  She was such a wonderful woman; good looking,
bright and usually happy. 

Whenever I had an overnight stay near her home, I spent time with her.
We would go to dinner or maybe take in some type of entertainment.  We
became good friends, and yes it was friends with benefits.  Other than
my ex-wife Marci, Rose was the only woman I cared about. 

Still it wasn't love but we had a very close friendship.  We both knew
it wouldn't last forever.  I saw her once or twice a month.  Being with
her made me see how much I missed Marci.  For some reason, I couldn't
let her go. 

One night we drank a little too much and I found myself making
passionate love to Rose. Afterward, from out of the blue, I asked her
to marry me. Even with the alcohol in me, I knew it was out of caring
for her and the climax I had just had. 

She looked at me, kissed me, and smiled.  "Barry, I love you as a good
friend, just like you love me.  We both know marriage would never work
between us.  And I could never marry a man that spent most of his life
on the road.  You and I are great friends and we should keep it that
way. 

"Besides, you're still in love with your ex-wife.  You called me Marci
three times while we had sex.  I do feel sad for you but you have to
try and get over her.  She's not part of your life anymore." 

I knew Rose was right.  My problem was how do you get rid of memories? 

It was about two years later when Rose told me she had found someone.  I
was happy for her but knew I would miss her.  She deserved a good life
with a good man, and I wished her the best.  The next time I was in
town I stopped at the restaurant and Rose was gone. 

**** 

Life went on and I saw my boys growing up without me.  I did what I
could with them but life was passing me by.  They were great boys;
Marci and Tom were teaching them well.  I took them fishing and they
knew how to bait their own hooks; Tom had taught them.  Even when we
went to a ballgame they knew all the rules because Tom took the time to
explain everything to them. 

Tom was doing all the things that I should have done.  I just wasn't
there enough for them.  The odd thing was that they didn't hate me for
it.  They always greeted me with, "Dad, we're so glad to see you." 

I had now been on the road over eight years.  Rose was a part of my
past.  I remember her telling me to take care of my family.  She knew I
loved my sons. One day I went into the office to talk to Roy Skelton,
my boss and owner of the company. 

"What can I do for you Barry?" he asked. 

"Mr. Skelton, my dad mentioned that Floyd Booth was retiring.  I was
wondering if I might be able to take over his routes." 

"Well, I don't see why not.  The only problem is you would have to own
your own cab for that route.  Mine are used for long haul only." 

"Sir, I talked with Floyd and he offered to sell me his rig.  I have
enough for a large down payment and he said he would accept payments
for the balance." 

"Barry, I want to say that you have been an asset to our company.  I
couldn't have asked for a better driver.  The route is yours; you do
know it pays less than the long haul?" 

"Yes Sir, I do, but it will give me more time with the family.  Thank
you, Mr. Skelton.  I really do appreciate it." 

"You've earned it Barry. Congratulations." 

I headed out of his office a happy man.  Maybe my life would be a bit
more normal now.  I told mom and dad about getting the new route.  Of
course dad already knew about it. 

I wouldn't be away from home more than two nights a week, so I mentioned
to mom that I would be finding an apartment close to their place.  It
was time I was out of her basement, even though I was only there a few
days a month. 

I called Marci and asked her if she could stop by mom's house because I
had something to discuss with her.  She came over after school and
brought the boys with her.  It was always good to see them.  Since they
were a little older and in school, mom didn't get to see them as often
either. 

Damn, she looked as beautiful as ever.  I felt my heart jump a little
but did my best to act normal. 

"Barry, you're looking well," she smiled. 

"I've continued to go to the health club to keep in shape.  Sitting on
my butt up to fourteen hours a day put on the pounds.  I have to say
you look as pretty as ever." 

I could see she seemed a bit embarrassed so I went on to explain the
reason I wanted to see her. 

"Marci, I got a driving route where I won't be away from home more than
two days a week.  I was wondering if there would be a way for me to see
the boys more often and be a bigger part of their life." 

"I'm all for the boys seeing you more often.  What did you have in mind?
 You know they're quite involved in school and a number of sports.
They have a rather busy schedule." 

"I don't want to interfere with their studies.  Would it be all right to
go to their games and other activities?  Maybe let them come over on
some weekends if they want." 

"Are you still going to be living here?  The boys come here all the time
to see your mom and dad." 

"No, I'm looking at some apartments.  It's about time for me to have my
own place.  I'll let you know when I find one.  I don't want to
interfere with your life with Tom, but I do want to see the boys more
often." 

"I don't see any problem here Barry.  They are your sons and you have
every right to see them.  I'll give you copies of everything they do at
school.  Your mom already gets one.  I'm sure it will all work out.
I'm so glad that you want a bigger part in the boys' life.  They really
love you," said Marci, giving me a smile. 

I found a nice two bedroom condo to rent within a mile of mom's house.
It even had a pool which I knew the boys would love to use when they
visited.  Since my sister Jane was talking to me again, I asked her if
she would help me pick out some furniture. 

"You dating anyone in particular, Barry?" she asked one afternoon. 

"Why, you have any available friends?" 

"Don't even go there." She laughed knowing she introduced me to Marci.
I don't know if she could tell I still had feelings for Marci. 

I felt a bit out of place when I went to the boys' first baseball game.
When I got there I saw Marci, Jane, Marci's parents and my mom and dad
all sitting together on lawn chairs.  It was then I realized Tom was
the coach.  I had forgotten the boys mentioned that. 

I couldn't sit with the group because I felt I would be out of place, so
I sat up in the bleachers. Marci looked up about then and seemed
surprised to see me.  She must have told the others because they all
glanced up at me. 

Then I saw my sons; I could see the name Hopkins on the back of their
jerseys.  Only problem was I didn't know which was which, they still
looked so much alike. 

Number eight hit a long fly ball. 

"Run Larry or Jerry, whichever one you are," I yelled on impulse. 

It felt so good to be rooting for my son. Some people laughed but I
didn't care. 

The lady next to me said, "Larry is number eight and Jerry is number
nine.  They are rather hard to tell apart." 

"Thank you, but I imagine the reason people are laughing is that they
are my sons.  I'm Barry Hopkins and thank you for the information." 

As we were talking, Larry was heading for third.  He slid into the base
safely at the screaming of all the fans.  The woman next to me
introduced herself as Elaine Brady.  Her son was on the team also. 

The next batter up was Jerry. I yelled, "Come on Jerry, bring your
brother home.  Just keep your eye on the ball." 

I couldn't help it.  I was watching my boys playing ball for the first
time. 

I must have been pretty loud because as Jerry approached the plate he
looked in the stands and smiled at me.  I was nervous as hell praying
he would get a hit. 

On the third pitch he hit a grounder between first and second base for a
single.  When Larry came into home, I was cheering along with everyone
else.  Jerry grinned at me from first base. 

After the game, which we won, I went down to the fence and congratulated
the boys.  "We're just glad you were here to see us, Dad," said Jerry. 

Talk about something to bring tears to your eyes.  From then on I made
every game I could. I saw the boys often and they loved using the pool.
 I always did my best not to interfere with any of Marci's plans with
them. 

I joined the local health club to help keep in shape.  That was really
the only exercise I got.  I dated a few women and they all seemed nice.
My problem was that I had a tendency to compare them with Marci. 

I knew it wasn't right, but that's what my mind did.  Like Rose told me
years ago, I needed to let her go and get on with my life.  I did, but
the memories were still there, especially since I saw her all the time.
I did feel jealous when I saw her with Tom, mainly because it should
have been me but I was too stupid and immature. 

I had never been home for the holidays. One day when Marci stopped by
mom and dads, I brought it up to her. 

"How are we going to work it out so I can see the boys during the
holidays?" 

"Well, I have an idea if it's all right with you.  The boys and I along
with Tom have always had Thanksgiving with my mom and dad.  So I
thought the boys would be with us on Thursday and Friday and could be
with you and your parents on Saturday and Sunday," explained Marci. 

"That would work out fine.  I'll prepare the big dinner on Saturday.
Marci, do you and Tom want to come too?" my mom asked. 

In the past, Marci and Tom had spent the day with them, but I had never
even thought about Tom being there. 

"I'll talk with Tom and get back to you.  Thanks for the invitation,"
Marci said. 

Damn, no wonder mom and dad still loved her.  She was like a second
daughter to them. 

"Marci, just so you know, I don't have a problem with it.  I think it
would be nice for all of us to be together for a Thanksgiving meal. 

"What is your suggestion for Christmas?  I know my being here makes it
harder for everyone." 

"No, you're wrong!  The boys are so happy to be with their dad.  They
really care for Tom but you are their dad whether you like it or not,"
said Marci with a smile. 

"We usually go to my parent's house on Christmas Eve.  Christmas morning
we have our own gift exchange at our house.  Your mom has always
invited us over for dinner with them.  I thought maybe we could still
do it that way." 

My Mom spoke up.  "That's all right with me.  I love cooking for
everyone, and this year Barry will be here too." 

"So we will give the boys their gifts when you come for dinner?" I asked
Marci. 

"Yes, they always open them before we eat.  They're always so excited.
Do you have any problems with these suggestions?  As far as New Years
goes, your mom always watches them when Tom and I go out.  You can have
them that night if you don't have any other plans." 

"Everything sounds good to me.  I'll talk with mom about New Years Eve."

I didn't want Marci to know that I had no plans yet.  I was thinking
maybe I'd like to go out, if for no other reason that she was.  Damn,
the kid in me was still there. 

I talked with my sister Jane and asked her to go Christmas shopping with
me to buy mom, dad and the boys something. 

"Jane, would it be wrong to buy Marci something nice?" 

"Don't go there Barry.  She's married, and I don't think Tom would
approve of it. Plus it would make Marci uneasy.  What you could and
should do is buy her something nice from the boys.  Maybe even let them
pick it out.  I'll tell you that Marci is getting you something from
the boys like she does every year." 

I had gotten a list from Marci on some of the things the boys wanted.
Jane and I picked them out along with a couple of things for mom and
dad.  I also bought a present for Jane's kids.  Her two daughters were
two years younger than my boys. 

We didn't exchange gifts with the adults.  They thought it was just
becoming too expensive. Later I took the boys shopping to look for
something for their mom. 

I could see why Marci picked out the gifts to everyone from the
boys—they were crazy.  They looked at toys and high end electronics
that Marci probably could care less about.  I finally convinced them to
buy something useful that their mother could wear. 

We went into Victoria's Secret and the boys couldn't believe the clothes
in there.  I had to tell them to calm down.  I could tell they were my
boys and told them we needed to have the talk. 

"Dad, we've had the talk with Tom.  He told us about sex and that we
should treat girls with respect.  That someday when we are older that
we would know when we meet the right girl," said Jerry. 

That was where I missed out again.  Tom was there for them, I wasn't.
Just gave me kind of a sad feeling. 

"Well boys, you make sure you heed Tom's warnings.  Someday you will
meet the right girl and then you can come in here and find her
something." 

I could picture Marci in just about everything in the store but knew it
wouldn't go over well.  I had a little plan and just bought a couple of
Victoria Secret boxes. 

"What are the boxes for, Dad?" asked Larry. 

"Oh, you'll see. We'll have a little fun wrapping your mom's presents in
them." 

We went to another ladies clothing store that Marci liked. The boys
wanted to buy her pajamas and slippers.  I had no problem with that so
they went and chose them.  Of course it was something that thirteen
year old boys would pick out. 

One of the pair of slippers they picked out were big fluffy ones with
the head of hippos on them.  I couldn't help but laugh but I decided to
let the boys pick out their presents.  Larry picked out a pair of
slip-ons.  We went to the cosmetic counter and they picked out Marci's
favorite perfume.  I got the small bottle since it was from the boys. 

**** 

Thanksgiving went well but I felt a bit out of place. It was difficult
seeing Marci with Tom, but I believe it was a little hard for her too. 

Christmas morning arrived and I was excited.  I was at home for the
first time in nine years and going to enjoy the day with my family.
Mom, dad and I got up early and had a big breakfast.  We knew it would
be a while till Marci and the rest would be there. 

We opened the few presents to each other that were under the tree. They
also opened the presents from Jane's family as well as Marci's.  The
only gifts left under the tree were those to the boys and the ones they
bought Marci. 

Everyone arrived and I shook hands with Tom; I couldn't believe Marci
hugged me. 

"Merry Christmas Barry," she said. 

I knew I shouldn't read anything into it, but I felt a bit of
forgiveness in it.  Maybe I just wanted to believe that. 

The boys were ready to open their presents.  Marci said they had been
hyper all morning.  Jane's family showed up and the kids gave me a hug
and thanked me for their gifts.  I bought each girl one more gift so
they had something to open with the boys. 

All the kids quickly opened their presents, thanking me for everything.
I opened mine and the boys had gotten me two pairs of jeans for work as
well as a couple of shirts. 

"Thanks, boys, I can always use them." 

"Mom picked out the jeans but she let us pick out the T-shirts," said
Jerry. 

That wasn't a surprise since one shirt was Transformers and the other
Spiderman. They brought a smile to my face. 

The boys handed Marci their gifts to her.  When she saw the Victoria's
Secret box, a concerned look came over her face.  Jane looked over at
me as well.  Tom was rather stone faced. 

"Open it mom," said Larry. 

When she opened it and saw the pajamas the boys had bought her, she
looked over at me. But I tried to look as innocent as I could.  She
opened her other box which was also from Victoria's Secret; she looked
at me again.  Opening it a little quicker, she laughed when she saw the
hippo slippers. 

The other pair matched her pajamas, she told the boys. Then she opened
her perfume, thanking the boys for the wonderful gifts. From the look
she gave me, I guessed she knew the perfume was from me. 

During dinner everyone asked the boys why they were in Victoria's
Secret.  They told them they were looking for pajamas for Marci but
couldn't find anything so we just bought the pretty boxes to wrap her
presents in.  It gave everyone a good laugh.  It was so wonderful to
see Marci so happy. 

New Years came and Elaine asked me if I wanted to go out with a couple
of her friends to a party. I thought it would be fun and agreed to go.
Mom said that the boys could stay with her. 

I've been out with Elaine a few times and it always ended up with our
having sex.  I figured it would be a good way to bring in the New Year. 

Jack and Cindy were long time friends of Elaine's.  At one point I
looked around and saw Tom and Marci sitting with Jane and Jim. Seeing
them took the joy out of the evening for me. I was happy when midnight
came and everyone kissed.  Marci came over and gave me a light kiss on
my cheek.  After she went back to Tom, I decided I was probably reading
too much into it. 

We left after midnight and went to another party.  I felt more at ease
since Marci wasn't there.  Elaine and Cindy were both lots of fun, and
we all drank more than our fair share.  My raunchy side came out and I
hoped sex would be in the offering later. 

Without anyone needing convincing, we got a room for the four of us.
Later I couldn't believe that I was sharing a man's wife and he was
fucking my date.  It had to be the wildest night of sex that I could
remember.  Jack even brought some blue pills so we could go that much
longer. 

When I took Elaine home the next morning, I told her that I had a great
time but I wasn't into wife swapping.  She informed me that Jack and
Cindy were married but she wasn't. 

"Elaine, the sex was great, it really was, but I'm a father who wants to
teach his boys about true love in life.  I need to set an example for
them." 

"Barry, you're a nice guy.  Your problem is you're still in love with
your ex.  Most any guy would love to have been in your shoes last
night.  You need to get over her and enjoy life to the fullest." 

I knew she was right but I enjoyed seeing my boys.  Even being around
Marci made me happy.  I didn't date Elaine after that night even though
it was a New Years Eve that I would never forget. 

Chapter 3 

A few months passed and one evening I received a call from Marci.  She
sounded distraught.  "Marci, what is it?" 

"Can you take the boys for the night and make sure they get to school in
the morning?  I have to take Tom to the emergency room." 

"Sure, no problem.  Do you have any idea what's the matter with Tom?" 

"He's been having some stomach problems lately.  Right now he says it
really hurts.  I know Tom and if he chooses to go to the emergency
room, he's in pain." 

"I'll stop by and pick up the boys, hope all goes well with Tom.  He
really is a nice guy."  It was hard for me to say the words, but it was
true.  He was the type of guy that seemed to have it all together.
Loved by everyone, only problem I had was he had Marci. 

After sending the boys to school the next day, Marci called to say they
admitted Tom for tests.  I told her not to worry that I would take care
of the boys and she could stay with Tom. 

The boys stayed with my mom that night because I had an overnight run to
make.  When I returned, mom told me Tom had pancreatic cancer.  They
gave him two months to live because of the advanced stage it was in.
Surgery wasn't an option; they discharged him with several medications. 

I stopped by to see him and Marci.  It was so odd since he seemed to be
fine when you looked at him. But as he explained it, his insides
weren't. 

"Have you thought about trying to fight it?" I asked. 

"Barry, the odds are about five percent I would make it through all the
surgeries.  I'm not about to put Marci and the boys through all that
pain.  I care for them too much. Besides, the doctors don't think I
could even make it through all the operations.  The cancer has spread
to my other organs." 

On the way home, I thought about how unfair it was for someone like Tom
to die an early death while someone like me lives on. A month later, I
got a call from Marci saying she was taking him back to the hospital.
I went over to get the boys and take them to my house. 

We went to see Tom in the hospital the next day. The boys were crying on
the way to the hospital. 

"I'm sorry Dad, but Tom was like a second dad to us," said Jerry. 

"I understand boys.  It's hard to understand why God takes people like
Tom so early in life.  I guess we'll never really know why.  Just be
happy that Tom will be with God and not in pain any more.  You boys
were lucky to have a man as nice as Tom in your life.  He was a special
person and loved you boys and your mother very much. 

"It's all right to cry when you lose someone you care about.  There is
nothing unmanly about showing your emotions." 

We went in to see Tom and the boys gave him a hug. They both told him
how much they cared for him and that they would miss him. He did his
best to calm them by reminding them to cherish the memories they
shared.  The boys then sat with their mom in the waiting room after Tom
asked to see me alone. 

"Barry, I've known for a long time that you still love Marci.  It's just
something I could feel. I want to thank you for being so considerate of
our marriage.  You must have been uncomfortable at times, but you
handled it as a gentleman. 

"I want you to watch over Marci and the boys.  Our son's are great kids.
 You couldn't ask for better boys; I'm so proud of them.  As far as
Marci goes, she still has feelings for you.  There are some things we
just know.   Please just give her some time and take care of her." 

I had tears in my eyes when I left the room.  Again I had to wonder why
God took men like him and left people like me.  Maybe he wanted another
angel by his side. 

Tom passed away the next day. 

**** 

For the first few months after the funeral, Marci was busy settling the
estate so I didn't see much of her.  The boys came over every couple of
days to see me.  Jane told me that she was helping Marci pack up Tom's
personal belongings. 

Tom had a will and had everything pretty much taken care of.  Jane told
me that he left his old house and furnishings to his adult kids. 

Marci received the insurance money and everything they owned jointly
went to her.  She and Jane had been gathering up all of Tom's personal
affects and were letting his kids take whatever they wanted of their
father's things.  She kept some of his baseball memorabilia for Larry
and Jerry since he had promised it to them. 

I saw Marci a couple of times at mom's but never long enough to talk to
her alone.  She was busy but I hoped her situation would improve soon. 

It was about a month later when mom invited everyone over for a
barbecue.  Marci said she would do her best to try and be there.  On
the day of the cookout Jane showed up with Larry and Jerry but no
Marci. 

"Where's your mom?" I asked the boys. 

"She was going to come but ran into some problems.  She'll try to be
here later if she gets it taken care of," said Jerry. 

"What sort of problems, Jerry?" 

"The garbage disposal stopped working and the sink is full of crud.
She's been so busy already and then this problem with the garbage
disposal.  It's the stuff Tom used to take care of." 

I looked over at my dad.  "Where do you keep the tool box with the
plumbing and electrical tools? 

"On the workbench in the garage," replied dad. 

"I'd like to borrow it for a little bit if I may." 

My dad knew I was going over to help Marci.  "Do you need me to come
along?" asked dad. 

"No thanks, Dad. I think I can handle this."  I told mom that I would be
back in time for the cookout as I headed into the garage to get the
tools. 

A few minutes later I was at Marci's. 

"Barry, what are you doing here?" she asked when she answered my knock. 

"I heard you were in need of a repairman and I wasn't busy.  So lead me
to the garbage disposal." 

The boys were right.  The sink was full of crud and the disposal didn't
work.  I hit the reset button and it ran but nothing went down the
drain.  I was busy taking all the things out from under the sink. 

"Barry, you don't need to do this.  I was going to call a plumber." 

"Marci, you need the help and I know what I'm doing.  Besides, we have a
cookout to be at in two hours." 

I smiled at her then asked her for a bucket. Taking out the trap from
the garbage disposal proved my hunch. A combination of egg shells and
potato peels jammed the trap.  The minute I took it out all the crud
went into the bucket.  I put the pipes back together and told her to
try the disposal. When it worked fine, I gathered the tools and turned
to her. 

"Okay, the boys said your toilet keeps dripping. Is that true?" 

"Yes but you don't need..." 

"Marci, I'm here to help.  Please let me try." 

She smiled and nodded. While she put the stuff back under the kitchen
sink, I checked the toilet. When I saw I would need a new part for it,
I headed over to the hardware store. It took me longer to get the part
than it did to repair the toilet. 

"Okay, what else do you need to do before we go to the cookout?" 

"The house is a mess.  I can't just leave it like this," said Marci. 

"Go do what you have to.  I'll fill the dishwasher and mop the kitchen
floor." 

She looked at me as I reached for some dishes.  I guess she figured
arguing with me would be a waste of time, so she went into the family
room and started vacuuming. 

"What else do you want done?"  I asked when I finished mopping the
floor, 

"I have to take those boxes of Tom's stuff out.  Some I want put in the
attic and the others I need to take to the Salvation Army.  His kids
took what they wanted; I don't have any use for the remainder of his
clothes.  The stuff to go up in the attic I'll try selling at a garage
sale." 

I carried the heavy boxes out to the garage and the clothes for the
Salvation Army I put in my truck to drop off.  While I was doing that
the phone rang. 

"Yes, we'll be there in about fifteen minutes.  Yes, he got it fixed.  I
think so too.  Okay, see you in a little bit," said Marci. 

"That was Jane.  She wanted to know if I was coming to the cookout.  I
told her we would be right there." 

"What did she say that made you say, ‘I think so too'?"  I asked Marci. 

"She thinks that you really are a caring person and have changed." 

"Marci, if you need anything at all, please call me.  I mean it. Now
come on, we have to get to the Salvation Army and then to the cookout.
I'm getting hungry." 

We made our stop first and then headed over to moms.  The food was ready
and they were waiting for us. 

While we were eating I talked to the boys. 

"Tomorrow you two have to carry some heavy boxes up to the attic for
your mom.  Also, get your bedrooms cleaned up and the beds made each
morning. You boys need to help your mom a lot more now; she's going
through a rough time.  Oh, and by the way, the grass is getting a
little high.  I'll leave it up to you boys on who mows and who trims." 

Everyone was a little surprised that I spoke up; after all, I never
interfered before in how Marci raised the kids.  Even the boys looked
surprised. But Marci didn't say a word. 

"You two want to go to a ballgame next weekend? I got four tickets from
work and thought you might be interested in going," I said to the boys. 

"That would be great. We haven't seen a game since last year when—Tom
took us," said Larry. 

"It's all right to talk about him, Larry.  He was a wonderful man and
you should hold your memories of him close to your heart," I said. 

"What are you going to do with the extra ticket, Dad?" asked Jerry. 

"I don't know. Do you guys have a friend you'd like to bring along?" 

"What about mom?  She always went when Tom took us," Jerry replied. 

I looked over at Marci.  "Do you like baseball?  Would you like to come
with the boys and me next Saturday?" 

"Yes, I like to go to the games; but I have so much to do," she said. 

Jane spoke up.  "Marci, you need to get out.  I think you should go and
enjoy yourself.  Whatever you need done can wait." 

I was surprised to hear Jane saying Marci should go out with me.  Maybe
I was a better person. 

**** 

We had a great time at the game.  When the boys told me what they knew
about the players, I thought again how Tom sure taught them a lot.
Just sitting next to Marci and seeing her smile made my day.  I felt
like we were a family again. 

After the game we stopped at a pizza joint. While we waited for our
order, Larry tapped my shoulder. 

"Dad, can we go to the amusement park this year?" 

"That's up to your mom, but I'm game," I replied. 

Marci gave me that "you want me to be the bad guy," look, which made me
grin. 

"I don't know. Why don't I talk it over with Aunt Jane and maybe she can
bring the girls too." 

Our pizza came and the boys began talking about the game again. I really
enjoyed spending time with them all. 

"Barry, I'll get back to you about the amusement park after I call
Jane," Marcy said when I brought them home. 

"That sounds good to me." I waved at the boys and left with a big smile
on my face. 

I couldn't believe it when I got a call from Jane the following week. 

"Barry, what are your plans with Marci?  I can tell you still care for
her but what are you expecting from her?" 

"Sis, I love her, and I always have.  I screwed up big time and I know
it.  I'm just taking it a day at a time and hope I can win her back.  I
never interfered with her marriage to Tom. Now she's a widow and I'll
do anything to win her back.  I'll never hurt her again." 

"Well, she called about the park and wanted my opinion.  I told her I
thought it would be fun. Jim wants to go too.  Just promise me that you
won't push her.  She's vulnerable right now and could really use
another friend." 

"Sis, I want to be that friend, for both her and the boys." 

The park was fun.  We let the kids run ahead with the boys watching
their cousins.  All the adults rode rides together.  Marci and I held
hands a number of times, though I wasn't pressuring her at all. 

I saw more of her and the boys the following month. One afternoon when I
dropped the boys off I took a chance. 

"Would you go on a date with just me?" 

"Barry, what are you expecting of me?" 

"Marci, I'm in love with you; I always have been.  I'm willing to wait
as long as I have to, and I promise never to hurt you again." 

"Okay, we can see a movie and maybe have dinner. Don't rush me; I'm not
sure I'm doing the right thing going out with you alone." 

"Thank you," I said just before I left. 

The following weekend we went to the movies.  We held hands and I
spilled Nacho cheese sauce on my pants.  Marci started laughing. 

"What's so funny?" I asked. 

"Remember our first date when you spilled cheese sauce on your pants?
Just now is like the same thing all over again." 

"I'll have to change if you still want to go out for dinner.  You can
wait in the car if you like." 

"I'm not afraid of you.  I'm a big girl now," she said, then laughed. 

At my apartment I went to change my trousers. Before I took even one
step, I saw Marci staring at me.  I stood there with my mouth open.
She came up to me and kissed me.  It was a lover's kiss and I returned
it as such. 

"I love you too, Barry.  I want to make love to you; I've wanted to for
a long time." 

I was in a combination of love and lust.  "I waited and prayed for this
day for so long.  I want you so bad, Marci." 

I helped her off with her clothes and removed the rest of mine.  I
started by kissing her, first gently and then harder.  I worked my way
down to her breasts and sucked and kissed them.  Next was her belly.  I
remembered how she loved her lower tummy kissed. 

I moved my face down to her sparse mound and began kissing it.  I went
lower and started licking and sucking on her pussy.  She was wet;
making noises and talking to me as I ate her out.  God, how I loved
her. 

"Do you want me to wear a condom?" I asked. 

"Have you been with anyone lately?" 

"Not since New Years," I replied. 

"I'm on the pill so I'll leave it up to you." 

I couldn't believe I was with the woman I loved.  It felt so much
better. It wasn't long before we both came.  I kept feeling her pussy
spasm and didn't want to pull out.  Finally I rested lightly on her and
kissed her before rolling next to her. 

"Do you still want to go to dinner?" I asked, unsure of what she was
thinking. 

"Can we stay here instead and maybe take a nap and have a repeat
performance?" 

That was the beginning of our dating.  We went out at least every other
weekend, sometimes with the boys and others by ourselves.  We went to
dinner with Jane and Jim a few times. 

I stopped by her house one day and she said her parents wanted to see
me. I was scared shitless, even though I was a man.  They were the
people who never liked me, and I cheated on their daughter. With the
boys outside playing, her dad looked at me and began explaining why I
was there. 

"Barry, I know you felt that we never cared for you, but that isn't
true.  We liked you but thought that you were just too young to get
married.  Marci's pregnancy was as much her fault as yours. 

"Now that you're dating again, she wanted us to know.  Barry, we're good
friends with your parents and we know that you've really tried to
straighten out your life. You don't need our approval to date Marci,
but you do have it.  Just think twice about what decisions you make.
And above all, we don't want Marci hurt again." 

"Mr. and Mrs. Billings, I've grown up and realize my mistakes.  I have
no intention of making them again.  Know that I love Marci and our
sons.  They are my life.  Marci and I are just taking it a day at a
time." 

"We can understand that, and appreciate your honesty." 

After our talk, I stayed for dinner.  I felt like Marci and I were
dating for the first time, only older.  And now I had her parents'
permission. Since it was in the open, we were together more often.  I
never did spend the night at her house.  We wanted the boys to know we
were working on our relationship but weren't quite there yet. 

One night she told me the people at work were glad to see her back to
normal since Tom's death.  Very few knew she was dating her ex-husband.
But some people didn't think she should be dating anyone so soon. 

"Barry, I need to tell you about Tom and me.  Please don't interrupt.  I
have to tell you this if we are to go any further. 

"When you cheated on me, I hated you.  I can't tell you how much I
wished you would just die.  After the divorce my feelings changed.  You
see, I hated what you did to our family, but deep down in my heart, I
still loved you.  It was tearing me apart. 

"That's when I met Tom.  He was good looking, strong, older and wiser.
He told me to stop carrying around all the hatred.  It wasn't good for
me and life was too short to go around hating people." 

None of what she had said so far was new to me. I did hurt her when I
cheated. More than that, I hurt what we had as a family. 

"We became friends. He told me about his family and his wife's death.
After we spent more time together, we became good friends.  You asked
me years ago if I loved him.  At the time I cared for him very much,
but I didn't know if it was love. 

"He helped me through some very difficult times. When he asked me to
marry him, I said yes. He was a wonderful husband; good to me and to
the boys.  We got along fine and rarely argued. When you came back into
the picture, he asked me if I still had feelings for you.  I told him
the truth and said that I did. But I made sure he knew I would never
jeopardize my marriage with him.  He understood and had total trust in
me. 

"If you asked me today if I loved him the answer would be yes.  I don't
know how to explain it but it was different from the love I felt for
you.  Please understand that if we're together there may be times that
I compare you with him, or might even call you Tom. I'm still shaky
about our relationship but I'm willing to give it a try.  I just want
you to know that I did love Tom and I do love you." 

"Marci, I love you and we'll work it out as we go.  I have no intention
of letting you go again," I said when she finished. 

Thanksgiving came up before we knew it.  Mom asked Marci and I to invite
her parents over for dinner.  The Billings agreed and that was going to
be the game plan. 

I decided to go one step further and ask Marci to marry me again.  I
figured we were ready, and wanted the whole family to know my feelings. 

The boys and Jane's girls sat at a table of their own, and I was sitting
next to Marci.  When it was time to eat, my dad asked me if I would say
grace. Everyone was surprised, including Marci, but dad and I had set
it up earlier. 

I stood up and started grace as soon as everyone bowed their head. 

"Our Heavenly Father, we thank you for this wonderful day of
Thanksgiving and forgiveness.  Lord, we thank you for family and
friends who are all here to share this wonderful meal together. 

"Lord, I especially want to thank you for Marci and my sons, who mean
the world to me.  This is what I hope to be the first of many
Thanksgivings that we share together.  In saying that I would like to
ask Marci to be my wife again, to have and to hold, till death us do
part. Amen." 

I turned to Marci and got down on one knee. Then I opened up her ring
set from years ago.  "Marci, will you marry me?" 

"Barry, why are you asking me now?  Oh my god, that's my wedding ring
that I threw at you." 

After all these years, I had kept them for just such an occasion. Today
they sparkled as they had done so long ago. 

"Marci, I love you and I know you love me.  We have two great sons and
wonderful families who support us.  I want to be married before
Christmas morning so I can be there to watch my boys and my wife open
their presents.  I promise you that I have matured and will be the best
husband ever if you say yes." 

Marci looked around at all the faces around her.  No one said a word.
Even the boys were quiet.  I was still on one knee.  When she didn't
say more, I hoped I hadn't pushed the envelope too soon. 

She folded her hands and said a prayer.  When she finished, she had
tears in her eyes. "Yes, Barry, I'll marry you." 

Everyone at the table begin talking at once.  I leaned over to kiss her
before I slipped the engagement ring onto her finger. 

"When are you getting married? Can we be there?" asked Larry. 

"Probably in a couple of weeks.  Give us a little time to make plans.
And yes, you can both be there," replied Marci. 

"Are we having only one Christmas this year?" Jerry asked. 

Marci told him it wouldn't change much.  We would still go by Grandma
Billings on Christmas Eve, open presents at home Christmas morning and
then go to Grandma Hopkins that evening for dinner. 

"Dad, will you take us Christmas shopping at that store again so we can
buy mom something nice?  Last year she was really surprised and all she
got was a pretty box." 

"Jerry, I'll tell you what.  Since you liked the store so much, you,
Larry and I can go back to Victoria's Secret this year, and I'll find
something for your mom for Christmas." 

Marci looked at me with her mouth open as everyone laughed. This year, I
was excited as the kids about Christmas. My family was together again,
and that was all that mattered. 

I'm singing in the rain, Just singing in the rain What a glorious
feelin', I'm happy again The sun's in my heart, and I'm ready for love
I walk down the lane Just singin', singin' in the rain. 

Thank you for reading my story Comments are welcome and appreciated DG
Hear

• First Infidelity
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